the more things stay the same, the more i want them to change

Cycle Day (CD) 31

A: Cranky and whiney and dragging.
Q: What is "how does Mysie feel when used as a human pin cushion", Alex?

Last week was the trifecta of pain: Estrogen needle in my ass, Lupron needle in my belly, blood draw needle in my arm. All three went badly. I got home and went straight to bed. I've been doing a lot of that, sleeping through the pain. The day after a butt injection has proved to be the worst - from the time I wake up to the time Eric goes to bed, sitting, walking, and just shifting around hurts. The next day, walking is much easier, and gets easier as the day progresses. Day 4, the day of another butt injection but on the other side, it only hurts a little to sit. Lucky me, the day after an injection is the worst, but the previous injection finally doesn't hurt so much!

Repeat, repeat, repeat...

All tests so far have been positive, and occasionally I'll hear that the donor is doing well on her side too. Retrieval is only 9 days away, implantation 3-5 days after that. So soon! The time really does go by more quickly when you don't pay attention to it and you spend your days either sleeping or boxing up your possessions!

I've been asked a few times if I'm excited. Honestly, I'm not much of anything - I am forcing myself to live in the moment to survive this. If I let myself actually think about what's going to happen in 2 weeks, the anticipation and anxiety will vibrate through me until I explode! I seem to be doing well with this technique. I'm not hyper-productive or as efficient as I worry about being when I worry. But I am calm, and things are getting done slowly but steadily. So why worry?

On a side note, I've made a pair of custom earrings for a giveaway online through a new, but interesting fashion blog. More details to follow!



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Reader beware, I make no apologies for speaking the truth, no matter how shocking. So here's a list of taboo you might see here: sexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism, atheism, ex-Catholic ranting, stories of childhood abuse, wacked-out left-wing theories and philosophies, and feminist thought. And I like the words "cunt" and "fuck" a lot.