Words are sacred to me. I love the way they sound, I love the way they look, I love the way they convey layers upon layers of meaning. They are an integral connection to our past, the most favored way to express ourselves in the present, and about the easiest way to communicate our visions of the future. Words can, and should be allowed to, live through millenia as messages from our past to our future selves. To silence speech is a wretched trampling of human rights. To erase speech, the attempt to erase our past, is nothing less than blasphemy. It is harmful to the whole of humanity. No one should have the power to lobotomize history. No one should want to.

But, alas, some poor, misinformed conservative Christians in the Netherlands have convinced their local school board chairman to do just that - at an expense of €15,000. The design work of six students - all 3,000 copies of student diaries - were destroyed for featuring Satanic symbolism on the cover. Because everyone knows that Lucifer's favored symbol is the peace sign, designed in 1958 for the British nuclear disarmament movement. Actually, I'm pretty sure that Satan wouldn't be in favor of nuclear disarmament, but the thought probably never crossed the mind of Mr. Johan van Puten.

You see, when confronted with anti-Satanic outrage by some local parents, the man did a little internet research - and seems to have completely bypassed any legitimate sources of information and instead skipped over to a site that sounds much more reliable than the likes of Wikipedia, about.com, peacesymbol.org, or teachpeace.com. No, with a little research of my own, it appears that the man decided to go with the authority on all such research matters: jesus-is-savior.com. Obviously, the wikipedia preview mentioning relevant tidbits about the olive branch and ancient Greeks just wasn't catchy enough. His eyes were drawn down to more exciting words like "Satanism", "rituals", and "Yasser Arafat" mentioned in the Google preview of jesus-is-savior.com. And like any respectable member of the academic community, he looked over the first source that supported his thesis and stopped all other forms of research and came to the conclusion that the parents were right, the peace symbol is Satanic, and the diaries must go. It was a hard decision for him, but obviously the right one: "he realises wasting good paper is a poor example to his pupils. 'But you have to understand, it was the lesser of two evils'."

Now that we've gotten down the facts - Oh, wait, those aren't the facts, now are they? I think people should be aware of some actual TRUE facts on the subject.

Here are some that our bumbling beaurocrat may have stumbled upon at his favored research website:

- the evil stems from the letter "V", because of the Masons (like Winston Churchill), the Illuminati, the Hebrew language (v = "van" = "nail" = the Brotherhood of Satan), Satan loves the five (V is the Roman sign for the number 5) sided PENTA-gram favored by Masons and Witchcraft, and is kept alive through current day usage by such Satanic cults as the Young Socialist Alliance, Vets for Peace in Vietnam, and the Students for a Democratic Society

- the ACTUAL peace sign is a Teutonic (Neronic) Cross "designed" by the Commies Gerald Holtom and Bertrand Russell, but has really been around for 2,000 years because Nero so despised Christianity that he had St. Peter crucified upside-down

- Hinduism is of the occult, blahblahblah, "witch's foot", blahblahblah, Germanic Runes, blahblahblah, Hitler, blahblahblah, Church of Satan, blahblahblah, Druids

- The Vulcan hand sign from Star Trek might be said to mean "Live Long and Prosper", but "Vulcan" was some ancient human deity who looked suspiciously like Satan, who married Venus, aka Lucifer, so Spock is the Devil!!!

- The Masons are sex fiends who wear pornographic golf pins to Church

It never ceases to amaze me just how often the truly moronic are elevated to positions of power. It would be amusing, if only for all the merry glee one could have in correcting them, except that they are doing so much harm using their defective brains to weild such power. So I will sigh at the loss of those diaries and the insult to the design work of his students, and console myself with dismantling the idiocy displayed by Mr. van Puten.

The letter "V", the Masons and Winston Churchill, certain letters of the Hebrew language, any symbol with five sides, witchcraft and Wiccans, socialists, communists, Democrats, and Vietnam Vets (regardless of their opinions on the war) are not Satanic.

Teutonic and Neronic do not mean the same thing and are not interchangeable words. Neronic refers to the Roman emperor Nero, who may or may not have hated Christians and may have crucified a few or more, but St. Peter asked to be crucified upside down as a form of humility because he felt he didn't deserve the honor of dying in the same manner as Christ. The Teutonic, Black, or Iron Cross refers to the Teutonic Knights, formed during the Crusades to aid Christians on pilgrimage to the Holy Land. Crucifying someone, upside-down or right-side-up, is pretty mean but not Satanic. Christian orders, military or otherwise, are by definition not Satanic.

The peace sign was created by superimposing the semaphore symbols for "N" (nuclear) and "D" (disarmament). No crosses were broken or otherwise harmed in its creation. Jesus and the Saints were pretty much left out of it too.

The word "occult" means "of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies. Or "beyond the range of ordinary knowledge or understanding; mysterious." If Hinduism is of the occult, I would like Christianity to meet Mr. Pot and Mr. Kettle, both of whom share the surname Black.

The Church of Satan doesn't believe in Satan. It may sound like an oxymoron, but the Church of Satan is not Satanic.

Everyone knows that old-school Klingons look WAY more Satanic than Spock. Because Venus was a female deity, it's news to me that she could be Lucifer. Maybe it's the sexyness? So, woman is no longer of the devil, but actual IS the devil. As is love, which is also Venus/Aphrodite's domain. Or was Lucifier merely play-acting in girls clothes, a transvestite at the first gay marriage in recorded history? I've heard that the guy can be tricksy like that, but that is really something. I can see why everyone dislikes him so much, pulling one over on poor Vulcan that way. Wait... But... Are you implying that Vulcan and Venus are both Satan and thus Satan married himself? Mind. Blown.

Let this be a cautionary tale to those who would commit the blasphemy of censorship in the future: you harm your charges, you show yourself as an uneducated idiot, and you make my head hurt with your illogic. A mind-meld sounds like it could just about hit the spot right now. Peace, yo.