the more things stay the same, the more i want them to change

stolen moment of bliss

The storm has been moving slowly today, causing me to look up every few minutes to make sure the rain had not started without me. Then, with impeccable timing, a downpour - just enough to to run up the stairs and grab a perch to watch the rain and wind for a few scant moments before it became too dark to watch. It's times like this that I wonder how, after so many bad experiences as a child, the little things can still bring me so much joy. As a girl in Hawaii, I relished the afternoon rains by sitting on the back steps - as close to the bottom I could get without being drenched - with a cat in my arms. Nikka did follow me up here for company, but only tolerated being held for about 45 seconds before it was time for her to go off on her own.

I always open the windows to try and listen as I watch, but up here on the second story all I can hear is the wind when it rains. I miss our tin roof in Hawaii. Here, the only room in the house that allows you to hear the rain is the living room with its skylights. The skylights don't provide the right view to watch the rain, so I am always torn between staying down there to listen, or coming up here to watch. Maybe later I'll go back downstairs and lay under the skylights with my eyes closed and just listen.



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Reader beware, I make no apologies for speaking the truth, no matter how shocking. So here's a list of taboo you might see here: sexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism, atheism, ex-Catholic ranting, stories of childhood abuse, wacked-out left-wing theories and philosophies, and feminist thought. And I like the words "cunt" and "fuck" a lot.