the more things stay the same, the more i want them to change

Thursday's Moment of Zen

Sitting in my car, eating Ciao Bella Mango Sorbet, I glance around the near-deserted Whole Foods parking garage. The taste of sumptuous mango coats my tongue, infiltrates my brain's pleasure center, and triggers childhood memories of other mango consumptions.

I remember my cousins' enormous mango tree, all of us downing the fruit with rocks - you could pick the already fallen from the ground, but they were always overripe and at least partially rotted. The tree makes me think of my grandmother's lychee tree, my adult quest to find fresh lychee, and my confusion when I realize I don't enjoy them now as much as I did as a child. Another bite brings my brain back to the memory of mangos past, how difficult it was to get to the meat of the fruit without making a mess. Cutting mango covers your hands in juices, gnawing it from the seed core covers your face in sticky goo. I remember my mother showing me how much sweeter the fruit could be if sprinkled with a tiny bit of salt, just like cantaloupe. I don't yet realize it, but tonight I will remember this and sprinkle salt on the tiny mango slices included in my just-purchased batch of Whole Foods' packaged strawberries.

My chores for the day are finished. I feel accomplished for having changed our car insurance to AllState for less money and higher coverage. I have no pain or nausea for the first time in days, in fact I feel healthy and energized. I am heading home to a yummie lunch, an evening of creativity and Project Runway. Home is where my cats are, where I share time with my husband, where I need to load the dishwasher. Tomorrow.

Today, I'm just reveling in mango.



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The Histories


Reader beware, I make no apologies for speaking the truth, no matter how shocking. So here's a list of taboo you might see here: sexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism, atheism, ex-Catholic ranting, stories of childhood abuse, wacked-out left-wing theories and philosophies, and feminist thought. And I like the words "cunt" and "fuck" a lot.