the more things stay the same, the more i want them to change

Update: Baby Quest

I think it's time for an update on Baby Quest. I've recently been trying to make a concerted effort to keep negativity in check here, but that's another conversation entirely.

When last we saw our heroine, the ethics of the donor selection process were weighing heavily on her. I jokingly referred to our selection as our brood-mare, because this process seems so de-humanizing I just needed to inject a little levity. Read on for more laugh-or-cry moments!

So we selected a donor, and signed a preliminary "on-hold" document. Then, and only then, did I decide to re-examine a little sentence that I had looked over in the most recent email from our donor coordinator. Because I am a numbskull. A nutjob. A scatterbrained dumbass. But  it's not my fault! It was followed by two very convincing sentences about how un-troublesome the original statement was. For your perusal:

The donor let me know that she had something called Factor 5 Leiden with her last pregnancy.  It is not a genetic disorder, just a blood clotting disorder that she had to take blood thinners for.  She no longer needs to take medications since she is not pregnant.

Are you soothed? I was. But still, due diligence and all that, right? Well guess what Wikipedia and a host of other websites had to say about the matter:

Factor V Leiden is the most common hereditary hypercoagulability disorder amongst Eurasians. - Wikipedia
Factor V Leiden is the most common hereditary blood coagualtion disorder in the United States. It is present in 5% of the Caucasian population and 1.2% of the African American population.
Factor V Leiden thrombophilia is an inherited disorder of blood clotting. Factor V Leiden is the name of a specific gene mutation that results in thrombophilia, which is an increased tendency to form abnormal blood clots that can block blood vessels.
- Genetics Home Reference, U.S. National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health
Factor V Leiden (FAK-tur five LIDE-n) is a common inherited genetic disorder that can increase your chance of developing abnormal blood clots (thrombophilia), usually in your veins.
Most people with factor V Leiden never develop abnormal clots. However, some people with factor V Leiden develop clots that lead to long-term health problems or become life-threatening.
Both men and women can have factor V Leiden, but women may have an increased tendency to develop blood clots during pregnancy or when taking the hormone estrogen.
- Mayo Clinic

All signs point towards "deal breaker." The other members of the Committee for Baby Quest - Eric, his mother (a nurse), his sister (a nurse), and his father (a two-time Grampa) - concur.

However, the phrasing of the bad news leaves some room for doubt. Why would they call this not genetic when it is? Could it possibly be that the diagnosis is wrong? That the donor misunderstood?? or was told she had something like the disorder but not really???

Through emails (I'm now regretting not picking up the phone about this yet), the coordinator at my clinic tells me that my fertility doctor agrees it is genetic, but is "doing research". Have yet to hear the results of that research...

Tomorrow marks the one-week mark of putting this all together, and also the deadline to file the formal paperwork/contract and submit a lot of money. So this morning has been about looking into this again, as well as contacting everyone to follow-up. And realizing that this has been on my mind so much that I could swear I spoke with the donor coordinator about this when in fact I hadn't. Oy-vey!

Honestly, the only way to resolve this is through re-examination of the donor's medical records and/or testing. Neither of which can be done without me signing the contract and forking over the fees. So in my email to the donor coordinator, I asked if it would be possible to have the donor just talk to her doctors about her true diagnosis, as well as testing without a contract just for this disorder. Who knows how much that would cost though?

This is sooo not an easy process. But I'm doing fine with it right now. I'm still really bad with remembering to follow-up, but other than that, I think I'm doing a pretty good job handling this, including mentally.



Visit my Etsy Shop

About Me

My photo
Seattle, WA, United States
I love beads! Let me make something unique just for you...

The Histories


Reader beware, I make no apologies for speaking the truth, no matter how shocking. So here's a list of taboo you might see here: sexuality, bisexuality, lesbianism, atheism, ex-Catholic ranting, stories of childhood abuse, wacked-out left-wing theories and philosophies, and feminist thought. And I like the words "cunt" and "fuck" a lot.